tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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