16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
