It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
