I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
