i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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