I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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