babies were throwing up all over the place
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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