You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
