Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
