Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
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Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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