Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Mom said you looked used
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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