Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
foreskin is a definite game changer
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
