You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize