just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
