Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am naked and annoyed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
