dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
