Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
