what day is it and did you see me today?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
