If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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