I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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