We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
