fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I FOUND THE LEGS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
