is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
