You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well