Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?