the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.