Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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