Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
