i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
