Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
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