i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize