I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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