Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
