if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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