Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
