i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
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I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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