I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
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Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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