Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
