I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
