i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
