just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
