Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
