You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
