i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
