i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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