then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize