you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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