like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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