maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
