We tried having a conversation with our noses.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
