I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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