I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
