I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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