Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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