I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
