we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
