Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my shit smells like andre
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
