If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
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Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize