I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
