quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
