i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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