i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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