Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
