That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
