why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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